T'is The Season - Making It Through The Holidays One More Time

It seems like just yesterday we were ringing in the New Year, and now we've just about come full circle. Everyone's in the thick of the hustle and bustle. Finishing up their gift shopping, hitting the grocery stores, making sure they have everything they need to make their favorite holiday goodies. Christmas music is playing everywhere, literally.

I used to love Christmas, please don't misunderstand, I still do, but over the years my love for it has changed. I'm trying to figure out if it feels slightly tarnished. The last six years of my life have been what could be mistaken for a Lemony Snicket's "Series of Unfortunate Events". First, separation and then divorce. Second, layoff from a job that I had for nine years (with no job in sight), and third, the passing of my Father in 2015. Most of my life has been spent loving Christmas and all that came with it. The gifts, the food and all of the merriment that  my little heart could handle. Yeah, I knew that Christmas was supposed to be about the birth of Christ. I made sure that I went to church for Christmas services, but you know it was the "let's get in and out" frame of mind that was driving my actions.

Now, after all that I've been through, I understand why the holidays can sometimes bring about such a profound sense of loss, separation, anxiety, and depression. Instead of focusing on the good during this time, we focus on all that we've lost or not accomplished. Over the past few years, I have found myself feeling all of these things, even though I am surrounded by my family that I love dearly; and that I know love me. I can only imagine how hard it must be for those who don't have the support and love of family and friends.

I'm here to tell you that it can and will get better. I have a very dear friend named Louise, who once told me, "Embrace the process". I think that she meant, don't fight what you feel, you can only work your way through it. The journey that the process takes you through will make you stronger if you allow it.  As you travel this holiday journey try and make preparations that will help you.

PLAN - Plan out activities that you like to do either alone or with a friend or a family member. It doesn't necessarily need to be something where you're spending loads of cash. It can be something as simple as making some popcorn and watching a movie on Netflix. You can also get together with someone and bake holiday cookies (and yes of course eat them!) Be creative!

SHARE - Share how you're feeling with someone that you trust. Many times, even those that are close to us are oblivious to how the holidays may make us feel. Even though they love us, they're not mind readers. Pull the person that you're closest with aside and confide in them how the holidays make you feel. Ask them if they mind spending a little extra time with you during this period.




There's one last suggestion, one that has become the most important to me. PRAY

I will make no pretense that everyone who reads this post will be of the same faith as me, or believe in God at all. But as for me, my relationship with God is the very foundation of my life. It's the underpinning of all that I am and do. When I feel myself slipping into not so great a space, I take a deep, calming breath, and begin to pray. I spend time with God through his word and it gives me peace and focus.

As for the Christmas Holiday, my relationship with God continuously reminds me that this particular holiday isn't about the gifts, the parties, it isn't about us at all. It's about love, the greatest love of them all. The love that God has for us that He sent His only begotten Son. That whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. When I focus on this love, everything else pales in comparison.

So what I thought was a jaded view of the holidays turns out to not be jade after all. It's a refocus, a redirection of my feelings.

I hope that what I have written here will find it's way to those that need it. Please remember that you are not alone, there is someone out there who cares about you. My Mom always says, "As sure as the sun rises and sets, this too shall pass." Embrace the process.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. God's peace, joy and love to you in the New Year.

Much Love,

Pandora~

If you find yourself in a place where you have no one to talk to, but you know you need it. you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.