Sunday, September 21, 2014

Standing On The Other Side Of Forever: Finding Love A Second Time

Divorce is something that is becoming more and more common as time marches on. I've had the great misfortune, or fortune depending on how you look at it, to have gone through the process myself. You can read about this process in my other blog, "46 and Starting Over, Finding Life After Divorce".

So here I am several years down the road, quickly approaching my 50th birthday, and I've been struggling with the issue of, can a person really, truly fall in love a second time? When I was a young girl, I thought that I was in love. Butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms first kisses, and then of course first heart break; I remember it all so well.  My mother gave me my first post break up pep talk. My mother said, "You will fall in and out of what you think is love many times before you find the one that is meant for you."

No I'm on the other side of what was supposed to be 'till death do us part, and I find myself wondering if I'll ever be able to be "In Love". My youngest son said to me the other day, "Mom, I think I figured out what the difference between loving someone and being "in love" are. We can love many people in different ways. Like a mother loves her children, or family loves one another. Being in love means you love that person the same as you love yourself." All this from a 16 year old.

Standing here looking back over my life I realize that I would rather be alone that to settle for anything other than real love, being in love. What I want is someone that can truly be my friend, my lover, and my covering. I know it's out there for me. I just have to have patience and faith.

In the meantime, I will immerse myself in my family, and the solace that I find in my perfect chair, a cup of coffee and a steamy romance novel ;)