57 Revolutions Around The Sun

I recently celebrated my BIRTHDAY!!! As the title of this article clearly says 57 revolutions around the sun.... man, where does the time go? My Mom used to say, and still does say, "Time waits for no man". It's taken me all this time to realize the gravitas of that statement. 

I remember all of my milestone birthdays, 13, finally a teenager. 16, now I can date! 21 I'm legal!! Then, after I turned 25 birthdays started to blur together. It felt like the passing of time sped up. It's crazy how when we're very young, we thought that people who were the age I am now were really old. Now that I AM this age I don't feel old at all! 

I feel blessed, that I woke up to see the beginning of another year of life. I've been through great times, and I've been through some extremely messed up times. But you know what, that's totally alright because everything, all of it has helped make me who I am. I'm the embodiment of an Earth Mother. I love with every fiber of my being, and when someone tries to do something foul to anyone that I love, I become the fiercest version of myself.   

So how did I spend my day? Started with a bit of TLC. I treated myself to a mani-pedi, a Starbucks Mocha Latte, and for dinner, an incredible home-cooked meal. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I enjoyed myself and that's all that matters. You see, I said all of this to get back to my first point is that time waits for no man. My children are all grown and they tell me all the time that NOW...it's my time.

I've written iterations of this theme, but this time, this year has to be the beginning of The Life Of Me. 

I don't know how much time I have left on this side of the veil, but I do know that I have so many things that I've always wanted to do, but haven't been able to. Even though I'm still working, I have more time. More time means no more excuses. 

As revolution 57 begins, I'm grateful, humbled, but most of all I am loved. Now it's time to begin...

The Life of Me!

Much Love,

Pandora Esperanza 2021

They Say There's Someone For Everyone....Just Not Online

It's been almost five years since my divorce. I've only dated one person during that time, which I refer to as "The Debacle", anyway it was a bust. So needless to say it's been a long time for a Sister!

To this point the only men that pay me any modicum of attention are either, married, legally separated, homeless, or old enough to be my grandfather....I just gave myself the Heebie Jeebies.

Anyway, I've actually spoken to quite a few people over the years who've used online dating sites. I've always said that I would never do it, I'm just not that desperate right? What happened to just meeting a nice guy in an organic fashion. I'll tell you what happened, the internet has taken over everything even romance.

Needless to say about a month ago, I finally succumbed to the lure of the creature that is internet dating. I haven't tried all of them, but I've tried enough, Christian Singles Mingle, Our Time, and Delightful. My experience may not be the same as other people, but in my opinion, they SUCK! Can I say that on here.....yeah, I can it's my blog!

Standing On The Other Side Of Forever: Finding Love A Second Time

Divorce is something that is becoming more and more common as time marches on. I've had the great misfortune, or fortune depending on how you look at it, to have gone through the process myself. You can read about this process in my other blog, "46 and Starting Over, Finding Life After Divorce".

So here I am several years down the road, quickly approaching my 50th birthday, and I've been struggling with the issue of, can a person really, truly fall in love a second time? When I was a young girl, I thought that I was in love. Butterflies in the stomach, sweaty palms first kisses, and then of course first heart break; I remember it all so well.  My mother gave me my first post break up pep talk. My mother said, "You will fall in and out of what you think is love many times before you find the one that is meant for you."

No I'm on the other side of what was supposed to be 'till death do us part, and I find myself wondering if I'll ever be able to be "In Love". My youngest son said to me the other day, "Mom, I think I figured out what the difference between loving someone and being "in love" are. We can love many people in different ways. Like a mother loves her children, or family loves one another. Being in love means you love that person the same as you love yourself." All this from a 16 year old.

Standing here looking back over my life I realize that I would rather be alone that to settle for anything other than real love, being in love. What I want is someone that can truly be my friend, my lover, and my covering. I know it's out there for me. I just have to have patience and faith.

In the meantime, I will immerse myself in my family, and the solace that I find in my perfect chair, a cup of coffee and a steamy romance novel ;)

Cheers~