Friday, June 23, 2017

Silence Is The Loudest Word

Communication, it's one of the singular most vital components of any relationship; whether it's with your family, friends, co-workers, or a significant other. The definition of Communication that I found on Google is as follows:

com·mu·ni·ca·tion
kəˌmyo͞onəˈkāSH(ə)n/Submit
noun
noun: communication
1.
the imparting or exchanging of information or news.
"direct communication between the two countries will produce greater understanding"
synonyms: transmission, conveyance, divulgence, disclosure; More
a letter or message containing information or news.
plural noun: communications
synonyms: message, statement, announcement, report, dispatch, communiqué, letter, bulletin, correspondence
"an official communication"
the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.
"there was a lack of communication between Pamela and her parents"
social contact.
"she gave him some hope of her return, or at least of their future communication"
synonyms: contact, dealings, relations, connection, association, socializing, intercourse; More
2.
means of connection between people or places, in particular.
the means of sending or receiving information, such as telephone lines or computers.
plural noun: communications
"satellite communications"
the means of traveling or of transporting goods, such as roads or railroads.
"a city providing excellent road and rail communications"
the field of study concerned with the transmission of information by various means.

Honestly I think this definition only begins to scratch the surface, but let's just start with what we've got. When I was a kid, my Father God rest his soul, had his own interpretation of communication. His version of communication involved him talking and you listening. There was never an exchange of thoughts, ideas, or feelings. It wasn't until I was an adult that we, through a series of trial and error, were able to start having real dialogue that amounted to something. And in what I didn't know were his last days amounted to so many beautiful and wonderful somethings.  But the point is that we we talked!

Recently I've been going through a situation that I'm sure other people have been through. As you may have guessed from my other articles, I'm currently single. I've been divorced for almost six years now. I dated one person for about a year and a half or so, but it didn't really work out. My kids told me that he was my rebound. About a year and a half ago, I found myself attracted to someone. Mind you I never make the first move, too afraid of rejection I guess, but I decided to try and strike up conversation anyway. We started having small conversation, sharing text messages etc, we've even been out a few times. 

I finally decided that no matter how great things had been going, he'd never said how he actually felt about me. Does he want to be just friends, does he want more, who knows, definitely not me. So upon the advice of a very dear friend, I decided to ask him. I sent him a text message, I know, I know, I probably should have called, but color me chicken. *laughing* Any way, his response was nothing...absolutely silence. 

It was in that moment that I realized that silence was the loudest response that he could have given to my question. There could be so many meanings behind the silence, but the person who sends the silence cares not to clarify, and it has to be OK. We need to understand that silence is a response, it's just not always the one that we want.

So press on, but remember this, silence may be the loudest word, but true communication is the strongest.

Much Love,

Pandora

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

What Do You Want God To Do For You In Your "Singleness"?


Big question right? We all think we know what we want until someone actually asks us to verbalize our thoughts and/or feelings on the subject.

We have a singles ministry in our church, like so many other churches do. We meet once a month and discuss various topics or just hang out and fellowship. We were about to end a night of fellowship when the group facilitator walks around and asks each of us in turn, to think about the question, "What do you want God to do for you in your singleness". I sat there for minute, some what stunned. The first thing that I wanted to say would have been right on point for a Christian singles group, "I'm fine with being single! My relationship with Christ is all that I need!"....the problem was, that was a TOTAL LIE! That wasn't how I really felt AT ALL!

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Valentine's Day Survival For Those On The Single Tip!

So today's the day! The ONE day that's globally dedicated to what? Love! Which, by the way can be the singular worst day for someone that's single. Between all of the Happy Valentine's Day and the "Look at me and my Boo!" social media posts, those of us living on the "Single Tip" just may find ourselves fighting the urge to throw up. Be not dismayed! Valentine's Day can still be your friend.

Make Valentine's Day About Friends And Family - First let's start with the obvious, the major plot point of this particular day is love between couples, that's what has been stressed by holiday marketers every where for ages. (Ok, it does kind of go along with the very inception of the holiday and all of that, BUT it can be so much more.) Buy a box of those kiddie Valentine's Day cards and give them to your family and friends! Let them know how much you love them and give them giggle at the same time!



Plan An Outing With Other Singles - Get together with other single friends to celebrate friendship, NOT to highlight the fact that you're single. Good food, good fun, and great friendship will go a long way today and every other day. All love is not Eros love, there's also Agape love. While we might want the Eros kind, it's the Agape kind that makes the world and our lives better for sharing it.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Be Still And Know...


One of the most difficult things that a person can be asked to do is wait. I can say personally that waiting has never been a strong suit of mine. Anything that required me to think it through and make the best decision possible seemed a herculean task; not because I didn't have the intelligence, but because I made my decisions from my heart rather than my head.

Heart versus head, it's an age old battle, there are countless examples in literature, fiction and non-fiction. I think all of us can gives examples from out own lives, some more than others. The question I ask myself is when will I ever get it right?

My personality as a child was filled with contradictions. On the outside I was shy, painfully so, but on the inside I wanted to do and see everything! How do you reconcile those two parts of yourself? As I grew older, I knew that I should take my time and give serious thought to life's decisions, but try as I might, I would lean towards the impulses of my heart. Making decisions like that is always going to be a crap shoot, sometimes it yields a positive outcome and sometimes not.