Thursday, August 6, 2015

Invisible Me

There's something about a crowded space, full of strangers that let's you know how invisible you really are. It might be the subway station, the market, a street festival; or most recently in my case a party. I'll tell you that I am not the most stand out of individuals in the first place. I am not one of the beautiful people that walk into a room and command attention. I'm a barely 5'4" middle aged African American woman, with a "goddess" body (that's the really nice way of saying full figured) 

I can't even begin to count the number of times that I'll be in a crowed place and people will walk right into me, like they cant even see me. And when I work up the courage to say, "Excuse me.", they'll look at me with that look that says, "Oh I didn't see you!"

I think in some way, shape, or form, I've been dealing with this off and on my entire life. When I was very little, I was incredibly shy. I was the kind of little girl that would hide behind my mother when someone would try and speak to me. And so it was until my first pivotal life moment, I wanted to be a cheerleader. I was in the 6th going into the 7th grade and the opportunity came around for try outs. I told my mother and she said, "Well, you can't be a cheerleader if your can't get out in front of people and make yourself heard." And so I did. I became a Junior Varsity Cheerleader, and then by my Sophomore or Junior year I was a Varsity Cheerleader. Cheer leading forced me to come out of my shell, but I was still unseen.