Be Still And Know...

One of the most difficult things that a person can be asked to do is wait. I can say personally that waiting has never been a strong suit of mine. Anything that required me to think it through and make the best decision possible seemed a herculean task; not because I didn't have the intelligence, but because I made my decisions from my heart rather than my head.

Heart versus head, it's an age old battle, there are countless examples in literature, fiction and non-fiction. I think all of us can gives examples from out own lives, some more than others. The question I ask myself is when will I ever get it right?

My personality as a child was filled with contradictions. On the outside I was shy, painfully so, but on the inside I wanted to do and see everything! How do you reconcile those two parts of yourself? As I grew older, I knew that I should take my time and give serious thought to life's decisions, but try as I might, I would lean towards the impulses of my heart. Making decisions like that is always going to be a crap shoot, sometimes it yields a positive outcome and sometimes not.

Invisible Me

There's something about a crowded space, full of strangers that let's you know how invisible you really are. It might be the subway station, the market, a street festival; or most recently in my case a party. I'll tell you that I am not the most stand out of individuals in the first place. I am not one of the beautiful people that walk into a room and command attention. I'm a barely 5'4" middle aged African American woman, with a "goddess" body (that's the really nice way of saying full figured) 

I can't even begin to count the number of times that I'll be in a crowed place and people will walk right into me, like they cant even see me. And when I work up the courage to say, "Excuse me.", they'll look at me with that look that says, "Oh I didn't see you!"

I think in some way, shape, or form, I've been dealing with this off and on my entire life. When I was very little, I was incredibly shy. I was the kind of little girl that would hide behind my mother when someone would try and speak to me. And so it was until my first pivotal life moment, I wanted to be a cheerleader. I was in the 6th going into the 7th grade and the opportunity came around for try outs. I told my mother and she said, "Well, you can't be a cheerleader if your can't get out in front of people and make yourself heard." And so I did. I became a Junior Varsity Cheerleader, and then by my Sophomore or Junior year I was a Varsity Cheerleader. Cheer leading forced me to come out of my shell, but I was still unseen.

The Truth Will Always Bare Itself Out

Full Definition of TRUTH

1

a archaic :  fidelity, constancy

b :  sincerity in action, character, and utterance

2

a (1) :  the state of being the case :  fact (2) :  the body of real things, events, and facts :  actuality (3) often capitalized :  a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality

b :  a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true <truthsof thermodynamics>

c :  the body of true statements and propositions

3

a :  the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality

b chiefly British :  true 2

c :  fidelity to an original or to a standard

My mother has always been one for turning a good quote or a phrase. She also loved poetry. But there was one quote that my mother liked to say when she though I wasn't telling the truth. She would say, "You know, the truth will always bare itself out".