Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Just a Little While Longer


Believe it or not I started this post on May 10, of this year (2016) All I had saved to the draft was the title "Just a Little While Longer". I have no clue as to what thoughts/emotions were twirling around in my head at the time. The funny thing is that I find myself, here on August 24th, three months later give or take feeling the exact same way.

Just a little while longer...I think I started saying this to myself after my ex-husband left. I can't remember if it was the same day, probably not, but more than likely within the first week or so; probably after the shock wore off and the pain really kicked in. Just a little while longer has become my mantra for when I'm "in the waiting". (In the waiting is what I like to call that place in your life where you're waiting on something or someone).  With regards to my ex, I would be thinking that in "just a little while longer" all the hurt feelings that I would would one day be gone. I knew It wasn't going to happen right away, but I also knew if I waited just a little while longer I would get there.

“For a while" is a phrase whose length can't be measured. At least by the person who's waiting.” 
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun


What I've come to realize, is that I have gotten myself into a place where it seems that my life is beginning to pass in a series of "Just a little while longers".  First is was, "just a little while longer" and I'll be over my ex (did that *whew*), then it was "Just a little while longer" and I'll finish my Master's degree (did that *happy dance*), then it was "Just a little while longer" and I'll find a new job (got laid off last year in January. I got a new job that February *praising God*).

Now I've entered into another period of waitings...waiting for God to bless me with a job that will financially allow me to me the needs of my family...and waiting for God to bring me that somebody special just for me. (Seriously praying that it's in God's plans for me to have a special someone). I know that what I'm waiting for may not sound like things worth waiting on to you, but they are to me; just as your waitings are unique and meaningful to you.  The problem is that I've allowed myself to stop living and enjoying life. I've been so focused on what I want rather than what I have!

“Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one's thoughts.”

― Elisabeth Elliot

It's cool to know where we want to go in life, or what we want, but we also have to live in the now and be thankful for what is right in front of us. It's appreciating the beauty of every single day that gives us strength for the journey, and knowing that we'll get there. It might just take a little while longer.

Much love,

Pandora

“Wait on the Lord" is a constant refrain in the Psalms, and it is a necessary word, for God often keeps us waiting. He is not in such a hurry as we are, and it is not his way to give more light on the future than we need for action in the present, or to guide us more than one step at a time. When in doubt, do nothing, but continue to wait on God. When action is needed, light will come.” 
― J.I. Packer, Knowing God